An X-mas Carrel ( Part 5 )

You are awakened by a loud knocking at your door. "Mr. Mann!" More knocking. "MR. MANN! It's checkout time, Mr. Mann! Did you want to register for another day?"

You blink and try to focus. Right. You're at the Hot L Amsterdam, where the producers of Theif or No Theif have put you up for the night. You've been visited by three spirits. Wait! Two spirits?

"Yeah, O.K." you shout. "I'll be down in a minute!"

So the angel of X-mas yet to come was a no-show. Well, Grodin as much as said they were unreliable. So it's ... what? 11:00 Eastern? So that's really 10:00? It's late. Even the pirates will be up soon.

You shuffle down to the desk in your T-shirt and slippers, and sign a couple of traveller's checks over to the clerk. You've got to call your psychic friend. She'll help you sort all this out.

Back at the room you dial out. "Hi." You say. "This is Avery."

"Honey, I know who this is. Don't forget who you're talkin' to!"

Right. Caller I.D. "I just want to know..."

"You want to know why the angel of X-mas yet to come didn't show up last night."

You have to admit it. She's good.

"Well, I'm gonna need my crystal ball for this one. Hang on a second, I'm gonna put you on hold."

In a surprisingly short time, your friend is back.

"Avery, this one's easy. Skid-Woo doesn't have any X-mas yet to come."

"What? But that's impossible..."

"Listen, honey. They've got those big expensive offices, employees who don't seem to do anything at all, and for a bunch of marketing geniuses, they shore ain't sellin' much! Do the math."

"But web-space is dirt cheap!"

"That's right. So you just take that Theif or No Theif money and get yourself a real website. Maybe a couple of books."

Wow! She really is good!

"Thanks, Melba! You're a peach!"

"I knew you were gonna say that!"

"Good-bye."

"I knew you were gona say that!"

Your own web site. How deviously simple! No pirates, no 50% off the top. Genius. Of course these psychics do have mysterious powers. Otherwise they'd just be marketers.

And to think she did it all in five minutes!

And so you come to know the spirit of X-mas and resolve to keep it not just one day a year, but always in your heart!

You throw open the window and accost a passing street-urchin: "You there, boy!"

"Me, sir?"

"Yes. You know that demijohn of rum down at The Liquor Barn?"

"The one as big as me?"

"The very one! Go nick it without getting caught and I'll give you a dollar!"

Yo-ho.